When you find somebody with whom you want to have a relationship in Japan, you have to confess (kokuhaku suru) how you feel before actual starting that romantic relationship. If he or she also likes you, you will be accepted and you are ready to start just one more new experience in Japan.
So this is how Japanese people start relationships between men and women. But what if your honest kokuhaku is declined? You might not want to even think about what will happen after you fail, so here is what you should know when you decide to tell your sweetheart how you feel. After reading through this article, you’ll be ready to ask for a date!
It’s all about time and place
When you decide to confess your love to someone, you have to think about the context in which you should tell him/her your feelings.
When it will be? In the morning? Lunchtime? At night?
Where it should be? At the office? At a café? In the comfort of your home?
It can be argued that the most important thing for success in your confession must be a romantic mood that would make anybody feel the love. And in all the situations, there is an appropriate time to begin talking about how you feel for one another. In the next section I will introduce situations in which Japanese people may expect romantic confessions, and where you may be able to start a relationship.
1. With a beautiful nighttime view
If there are any good places to see some beautiful nighttime scenery where you are, why don’t you ask your crush to join you there? The night view is one potentially effective ingredient for romantic situations. A romantic night view will boost your own feelings, and also your partner’s when you are looking to speak out your love. If you drive a car, it may be optimal to take them to a mountain with a night view. If you do not have a car, there are a lot of places that you can expect to see a great night view in cities in Japan. If you want to find the best, most famous places, you might choose Tokyo, Yokohama, Hakodate or Kobe.
2. When chilling out at a park
It is very common for Japanese couples to go on dates at a nearby park, as it is so relaxing to lie on the grass with your beloved. Sometimes you can read a book, enjoy some sports, eat Obento (Japanese-style lunchbox) together..
There is an atmosphere surrounding the two of you which makes you both feel at peace, and may bring forth images of a lifestyle with your partner in the future. If he or she seems to be feeling the same way, it is a time for you to tell your love. Dates at a park do not have to be at night, so this is a good daytime option for your romance.
3. In daily life
If you and someone you like are already close, you might already be a part of his or her everyday life. You might eat meals together, visit each other at home, and may already be spending a lot of time together on a regular basis. If you are in a relationship like this, you can try to speak your love at any point in your routine.
You can suddenly confess your feelings during lunch time, washing dishes, going shopping together, etc… You don’t need to prepare any special situation! If you succeed in confessing your honest feelings, your words are what will make the otherwise normal situation incredibly special.
4. At the ticket gate when you leave for home after a date
If you cannot find one particular spot that you feel is suitable for the confession of love, a ticket gate at the train station is a surprisingly good option. If you feel like he or she has the same feelings as you, they might also be trying to say something important, but just can’t find the chance. After spending the day with him or her, you both may be feeling the start to a new relationship. So, just before parting, shout out your honest feelings of love. Releasing some pent-up lovey-dovey emotions on your part will help them to feel comfortable enough to respond in kind. The best time of day for a confession at the ticket gate must be just before dark. The gradually darkening sky can be perfect for the creation of a romantic mood.
If you are worried about confessing your love, I recommend you take advantage of situations such as the above. They can definitely make a suitable atmosphere for you to express your feelings, and for your potential significant other to do the same.
That said, I wish the best of luck to all of you lovebirds out there. Go get ’em!