Do you know the good communication style, if you fall in love with Japanese man? | Guidable - Your Guide to a Sustainable, Wellbeing-centred Life in Japan

Do you know the good communication style, if you fall in love with Japanese man?

By Guidable Writers Apr 1, 2017

In the case of loving with a Japanese man, do you know the best way to understand his emotion? Do you understand him sufficiently? Many of Japanese men do not say “I love you” directly. You might think why they do not say that? Because they think that you understand their emotion and heart which they love you, as well as they, have especial communication style.



    The communication studies show the difference of communication style depends on country culture. American and European present their emotion by saying words directly.  This communication style is said low context culture, which prefers to directly say by words and is easy to understand the situation and emotion. While the communication style which prefers to ambiguity and not to say much is said high context culture. Japanese, Greek and the people of Arab Countries belong to this category. Therefore, it is better to understand which context you belong to. The following table (Table 1) describes that each country belongs to which context culture. If you belong to the culture in low context, you have to consider the difference which the high context prefer to ambiguity. Conversely, in the case of belonging to high context culture, you have to understand regarding low context culture. Especially, Japanese is top of the list of high context culture. Because “Tatemae” and “Honne” exists in the communication among Japanese, “Tatemae” shows sensitivity toward others and as a public. On the other hand, “Honne” shows sensitivity and emotion toward one’s own private self. Many of Japanese use properly “Tatemae” and “Honne”. If Japanese man love with you, he might not say “I love you” as “Tatemae”, however, his “Honne” shows he loves you. Therefore, you have to distinguish “Tatemae” from “Honne” as well as, have to feel his emotion from his attitude. It might be hard to understand this communication style for you. However, you have only to recognize the difference, you will be a good partner with a Japanese man.

     To love someone is to understand the difference between each other. If you fall in love with the person who has a different culture, you accept the difference and try to understand different communication style. Especially, in the case of falling in love with Japanese men, you have to understand their preference in communication style. 

Table 1. High/ low Context by culture (Hall & Hall, 1990)


Hall, E. &. (1990). Understanding cultural differences: Germans, French, and Americans. Yarmouth: Intercultural Press.