[:en]Good Relationship with your Japanese Girlfriend[:it]Avere Buoni Rapporti con una Fidanzata Giapponese[:] | Guidable - Your Guide to a Sustainable, Wellbeing-centred Life in Japan

How to Keep Good Relationship with your Japanese Girlfriend

By Guidable Writers Aug 1, 2016

This post is also available in: Chinese (Simplified) Italian Japanese Spanish Vietnamese Chinese (Traditional)

Having a foreign girlfriend is a peculiar thing and you can develop an interesting connection by being in an interracial relationship. The same goes for Japanese girls. Anime and Japanese tales have led us to believe that Japanese girls are all kawaii (cute) dolls who would blink their innocent eyes at everything. While it is true that Japanese women are cute, being in a real relationship with them is not entirely similar to that which you see in animes (actually depends on which one you watch).

Unfortunately, I am not going to let you know how to get a Japanese girlfriend (I’m no expert) but, rather I will try to explain how the relationship with a Japanese girlfriend is like based on my experience. 
The following are common traits of a Japanese girlfriend:


Japanese girls are usually impeccably neat and well-groomed.  If a Japanese girl is interested in you, she will always make sure she keeps herself clean and aromatic around those she’s interested in. Being in a relationship for a long time is not likely to change this habit much.

How to Keep Good Relationship with your Japanese Girlfriend

No “I love you”

In Japan, most couples do not express their love for each other verbally or openly. Just because she does not say the ‘L’ word does not mean she does not love you. Usually, they utter words such as ‘kawaii’ (cute)  or ‘Daisuki’ (i really like you) to show their affection.

Sharing Bills

For the first few dates, it is considered perfectly normal to split the bill. Japanese girlfriends usually pay for themselves and it not awkward for them. The deeper they get into the relationship the more they may expect the man to pay. Although, you can expect financial help from them at all times.


Apparently, it is a social code for Japanese women to apply makeup when they step out of their house. I think it’s an sop for all girls everywhere. So, no matter how much you try to tell them that a casual walk in the park would not need a full make up, they would still make you wait until they finish putting it on.

You are the man

Though, Japanese women are independent with financial stability they still consider the male to be higher in a social hierarchy. This is not to say they will take crap from you but you wouldn’t find the feminist angle in most Japanese women. Men will have a say in major decisions.

 How to Keep Good Relationship with your Japanese Girlfriend


On an average, Japanese girls are more polite than girls from other countries and this is also true in a relationship. They do not shout much or argue much even out of affection. In some cultures, arguing among couples could be considered healthy but Japanese girls are straightforward and get offended when shouted upon. Expect some crying if you want to argue hard. Also, they don’t get sarcasm. Simply, avoid it.


Japanese girlfriends will give you gifts often. This is because of the Japanese culture of gift giving for various occasions in a year. They will also expect you to do the same. So, if you are like me who often forget about gifts be prepared to face an upset girlfriend. 

Give me your wallet, honey!

Though this happens after marriage for Japanese couples, you might want to clear this when actively in a relationship with a Japanese girl. Many Japanese households are run financially by women. Husband hands over his salary to the wife and receives an allowance from her on daily basis. If this arrangement does not suit your personality discuss it in advance with your fiancee before marriage.

How to Keep Good Relationship with your Japanese Girlfriend

Meeting the Parents

Meeting the parents of a Japanese girlfriend is a clear indicator that she is thinking about marrying  you someday. Also, the consent of the parents for marriage is essential for many Japanese girls. So, if you have plans to marry  her, be prepared to make a good impression when you meet her parents.



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