‘Getting a Japanese boyfriend/girlfriend’ should be one of the biggest dream of foreigners who are living in Japan. However, if you have talked to local Japanese, you should notice that Japanese people have unique culture and characteristic that you cannot see in other countries. In order to understand the nature of Japanese, you need to study a lot of complex ideas, such as uchi and soto, honne and tatemae. That is why when I talked to many foreign friends, they all said that it is really difficult to touch the core of Japanese people and get along with them. However, if you are going to stay in Japan, I am sure that you do not want to go back to your country before you get a Japanese lover. Therefore, this article is written for those who really want to get a girl friend in Japan.
Japanese are not shy
Most of you would think that Japanese people are shy. It is true that compared to other nationalities, Japanese people are shy, and they hesitate to express their feelings. However, there are also many Japanese who are very outgoing.
If you have Japanese friends who like to hang out with foreign people, most of them are much more open then other normal Japanese. Based on my personal point of view, those who love to hang out with foreigners tend to be ‘pari pi’, party people. They are bored with the life in Japan, and they start to seek new challenges. They want to enjoy more ‘Westernized’ lifestyle; like most international students do, they start going to the club. They also start going to British Pub instead of Izakaya and start listening to English R&B Songs. What I am trying to say is that if you think that all Japanese boys and girls are quiet and shy, it is not true. There are actually many outgoing people that want to date a foreigner, because some of them think that foreign culture is really cool! Getting a Japanese lover is not that difficult, because they are also looking forward to get a foreign boyfriend or girlfriend.
How to know if a Japanese guy like you
Getting a Japanese lover might not be as hard as you think, but understand your Japanese lover is way harder than you think. Now I am going to talk about how can you tell if a Japanese guy/girl likes you or not. As a Japanese guy, I am going to tell you how Japanese behave when he or she has a crush on someone based on my own personal experience and my friends’ experience. Although this cannot be applied to all the people, but it would give you a general idea on how Japanese people act.
When he/she asks you something through message
When Japanese fall in love with someone, of course the first thing they want to do is to text their crush. However, Japanese people wouldn’t text their crush with no reason. Japanese people always make up some excuses to text their crush; They ask about homework, work, or even tomorrow’s weather in order to have a reason to talk to them. Therefore, if someone ask you ‘what’s tomorrow’s homework?’ or ‘Are you ready for your test?’ through LINE, there is a chance that he or she has some kind of special feeling towards you. Of course, there is a chance that he or she thinks that you are a good person to ask because you are smart. However, it is always good to start some conversation after he or she has finished his or her questions.
When he/she does not text you back too quickly
When you start a conversation with a guy/girl through LINE. You might think that if somebody likes you, he or she may want to text you back asap, but Japanese people tend to intentionally wait few minutes after they have noticed a new message. This is because they are trying to hide their feeling from you. They do not want to think that they are always looking at the phone and waiting for your message. On the other hand, if you get a reply very quickly, it might means that he or she has no feeling towards you. If you wait for 2,3 days and still can’t get a reply, he or she may think that you are annoying! This also really depends on the person, so it might not apply to some people!
When he/she does not ask your last train
When you go out and drink with your friend, and he or she does not ask you for your last train, it means that he or she wants to stay with you as long as possible. You need to be careful if where you two meet and drink is really close to his or her house. When you guys go to drink, if he or she has a crush on you, he or she might want to make you drink more. Therefore, if you get a chance to go drink with your Japanese friend, try mention the time of your last train and see what kind of reaction you get.
After reading my article, I think you have understood that sometimes Japanese people act exactly the opposite way as they feel, and that makes many foreigner confused because they have no idea Japanese people are thinking about. Understanding Japanese people is difficult, and it becomes much more complicated if you want to date a Japanese. If you are able to get a Japanese lover, you will be able to have more chance to touch Japanese culture. On top of that your Japanese life will be happier!
If you have any concerns with your Japanese crush, you can leave your questions in the comment, and we can answer your questions through another article. Just feel free to ask any questions you felt when you were hanging out with your Japanese friends, boyfriend or girlfriend! Hope you all have a happy Japanese life!
Shun / Japan