“Doki doki” when looked up in the dictionary is literally the sound of one’s heart beating strongly. In truth, there is no direct translation for doki-doki. In English, the heart “pounds” when you are thrilled or in danger. It is “fluttering” with excitement on your first day at work. In Japanese the heart feels “dokitto suru”. You may be attracted to someone, or someone at work may be your type, but the road to a romantic relationship depends on the other person feeling “doki-doki” towards you in return. The more doki-doki you feel toward each other, the faster you head down the road to romance.
So what makes the Japanese “dokitto suru”? What makes their heart pound? I have come to realize that it’s the casual actions a person makes, those gestures of subtle femininity and masculinity that draw attention from the opposite sex. It’s the small glimpses of a woman’s neck, or the rough lines of hard work on a man’s hands which we rarely notice, that may appear provocative to the observant eyes of our potential mates.
Of course, not just anyone can make such casual gestures and cause a girl’s heart to beat faster. Only that special someone, whether it be her boyfriend or someone she finds attractive, can make her feel doki-doki.
First of all, from the female perspective, what attracts their eyes are those little signs that a man is hard-working and reliable. Men who are lightly built or soft-looking can also appear masculine if they show some image of strength. Here are some instances in which women feel doki-doki:
1. When a Man Rolls up His Sleeves
A man who wears long sleeves at work during most of the day suddenly rolls up his sleeve to reveal astonishing muscles that women just don”t have. Whether subconscious or not, women are reminded of strength when they see those arms and may feel a doki-doki moment.
2. When a Man Wearing Glasses Takes Them Off
Intelligence is also a very attractive trait and glasses are arguably associated with intelligence. Those glasses worn all day are taken off and then, suddenly, he reveals his bare face. To Japanese women, this gives the impression of him showing his true self, or perhaps him showing his more relaxed and carefree side.
3. When a Man Reaches up High on a Bookshelf to Take Something Down
Women know very well the frustration of being unable to reach something like a book on the top shelf. When you’re in such a situation and a man reaches up to help you, don’t you feel a surprising twinge of gladness? It is this moment of seeing a man’s full height, plus simple gratitude, that brings on another doki-doki moment.
4. When a Man Pats Her on the Head
Apparently with Japanese women, they feel comforted or assured if someone they look up to and respect pats them on the head. A pat on the head can mean “Good job! You did great!” or “It’s ok, everything will be fine”. It’s a gesture of kindness which melts the heart of the Japanese woman.
What about the men? Do they also feel doki-doki? The answer is yes, and although some are of the mistaken impression that all men love to see revealing clothing or bare skin, sometimes the opposite is effective. It is sometimes the fully-clothed and yet feminine woman who attracts their eye.
1. When a Woman Reaches up to Tie Her Hair
A woman who is keeping her hair down suddenly reaches up and reveals the back of her neck. Japanese men, who rarely have their hair long, sees this move as distinctly feminine.
2. When a Woman Looks up to Them With a “Please” Gesture
Japanese men like to feel reliable and helpful, and when a woman one likes asks for help, he cannot resist feeling glad.
3. When a Woman Lightly Touches a Man or Tugs the Back of His Shirt
One very important thing to remember in Japan is that men and women very rarely touch each other, even among friends or family. In fact, women don’t touch each other either unless they are very close. Back home in your country men and women may hug each other casually or even as greeting, but in Japan if you try to hug a friend, you might get a very awkward reaction. It is in this absence of regular bodily touch that the very soft touch of a woman’s hand can make a man feel doki-doki. Even when just feeling a tug, like when a woman is trying to catch his attention to say something, a man feels doki-doki from that reserved touch-but-not-exactly-a-touch. A slight tap on the shoulder or arm is the same.
4. When a Woman Puffs up Her Cheeks as When Pouting
Of course anyone who is genuinely anger looks far from cute and adorable, but a woman’s pretend anger is sweet to the Japanese man. It is a show of scolding someone but being unable to feel real anger, a small sign of a forgiving heart as opposed to the ugly scowl of an angry face.
These instances of small gestures may go unnoticed in a different country, but can induce romantic electricity between men and women in Japan. Once you learn to see through the eyes of the Japanese and notice these doki-doki moments, you also will have an exciting and perhaps more successful experience with your Japanese romance.